Where we’re at, I believe, is a turning point. Seemingly slight cracks in the prevailing narrative, but the numbers are not minimal and the trend is pronounced. Many remarry, but many marriages after 55 are not first marriages - many who are married are actually remarried, in other words. Census Bureau Report shows that 43% of people who are 55 to 64 have gone through a divorce. And those who are married in midlife have a more complicated story than we admit: the 2016 U.S. Among adults 40 to 54, there has been a significant increase in the number who are unpartnered (neither married nor living with a partner) - 38% in 2019, up sharply from 29% in 1990. If we take a closer look, we see that midlife relationships are a messier picture than we like to acknowledge. We become clearer about who we are, what we need, what we like and don’t like - and more confident acting on it in. These evolutions, tragedies, and disruptions, along with just everyday ordinary life played out over time, add up to knowing ourselves more deeply. We change jobs or retire early, lose an increasing number of friends and family to death, move to sunnier places, grow apart. Against that backdrop, in midlife, we become empty nesters, divorced, and widowed. Divorce, same-sex marriage, an increase in the number of working women, artificial insemination, and single parenting have become commonplace.

In a secondary constellation around them are coupled-up friends to throw dinner parties and go on vacation with, as well as each partner’s same-sex friendships.īut we’ve gone through seismic shifts in society over the last decade+. In the “couple narrative,” each person’s partner is their everything (or nearly so): best friend, soulmate, lover, roommate, business partner, work-out partner, chess partner, pickle partner, you-name-it playmate. There is a prevailing narrative around midlife that maintains that being in a couple - ideally a long-standing married union unblemished by infidelity or sexlessness - is not only widespread but also the natural and best way of living. TOPIX is our way of getting opinionated, courageous conversations started on what living and loving really looks like in midlife now. A turning point where people begin to craft the kind of friendships and romantic relationships that actually work for them, inside the lines (or out).

Too short to worry about what other people think. Midlife has always been that point when we begin to realize that life is getting short. Let’s Admit There’s No “Normal” to Relationships in Midlife & Start Talking About What We’re Really Doing By Dish Stanley

Exile by Lisa M. Bradley